Believe – The Power of Proclaiming Your Goal

It should have been a week of anticipation, nervous energy and the excitement of what was to come. Instead, my daughter Sophia wanted it to be over.  After four years and countless races in cross country and track, she was headed to her final State Track Championship to complete a stellar high school running career.  The difference this time was that she was considered one of the favorites to win the 1600m, which would be a first for her.  With that, came expectation and pressure.

“I can’t wait for this to be over” she told her mom.  Her coach had given her a pep talk earlier in the week and although chatter about winning a title was never the focus during the season, he pointed out “you could win this thing” to provide support and confidence.  Instead, she saw it as additional pressure that she was already putting on herself.

Watching her run over the previous four years, we never tried to push the idea of winning it all. Instead, put in the work, do your best, and good things will happen.  I know her well and I could see what she was thinking: Don’t state your big goal. That way, if you don’t hit it, you haven’t failed.  It’s managing expectations by understating what you really want, and we all do it.

I wanted to find a way to talk to her about expectations before State, but it had to be in the right setting. Luckily, it was just the two of us making dinner together the night before the State Track Meet and I was able to present what I had been wanting to share with her while working away in the kitchen. I told her it’s ok to state a big goal…to plant your flag on the idea of doing something special and to take the risk that it might not work out.  The point is, whether you state it out loud or not, if you don’t achieve that goal, your disappointment will be the same. You haven’t managed that away by being shy about your goal so go ahead and THINK BIG.  Especially when you know you are prepared and have put in the work.  It’s not cocky if you do it the right way and letting go of any negative thoughts is like a superpower. 

She was receptive to the advice, and I could see it didn’t add additional pressure to what she was already feeling.  Now, all that was left to do was to line up and run the race!

As expected, the race came down to three girls and Sophia was in the lead pack with 800m to go. She led with one lap to go and held that lead with 200m to go.  As she hit the final stretch, the girl behind her was closing the gap quickly…that finish line couldn’t come fast enough. She hit the white line just 0.25 seconds ahead of the second-place runner and by the look on her face, Sophia couldn’t believe it! She had done what she wanted to do and claimed the State Championship Title!

Coaches, parents, teammates and all of us were ecstatic and jumping and hugging each other in the stands.  When I caught up with Sophia after the race on the track we shared a big hug and she said “I did it Dad!”.

She told me that earlier that morning on the bus ride to the race, she wrote in her journal about her goals for the weekend and she stated, “I CAN WIN…I WANT IT…I CAN DO IT, I CAN DO IT!”.

And she did. Sometimes our biggest obstacle is ourselves and the doubts and fears we carry in our own minds.  We are afraid to fail, and we fear how others will judge us.  Imagine what we can accomplish if we channel that energy in another direction.  There’s a Japanese proverb that says, “Fear is only as deep as the mind allows.” Eliminate that fear and let yourself dream.

We love to give our kids advice and if we are lucky, it’s good advice, it lands and has meaning.  We can also learn from them too, and Sophia showed all of us the power of believing in yourself and proclaiming that big goal. Plant that flag and special things can happen.